“Penguins may stumble, but they always get back up and waddle on.” – Unknown

Will you write again? People have asked me this question several times over the last two years. Each time I answered yes, I would continue writing blog posts; it was only a question of when I could carve out time and space for it. Most of my story remains untold and desperately needs to be flushed out of my brain and onto the virtual page. Writing was, and continues to be, the most productive means for me to process the totality of my experiences. But in the last two years, life events took over and changed most of my plans, at least temporarily.  The totality of my time and energy was required for accomplishing tasks I could not delegate or skip. I would simply have to work through the seemingly endless list, and this left little capacity for optional activities. I lacked the mental bandwidth to process anything else, so I set writing for Heart of a Hiker aside.  Writing, and continuing to work through all of the aspects of my experience would need to wait until circumstances stabilized.

Surprisingly, penguins helped me to overcome a combination of exhaustion and writer’s block. This spring, I fulfilled a bucket list trip.  Given that I’d had my fair share of buckets placed in my path during the last four years (my newest blog posts will shed more light on this), the moment was ripe. Marty and I traveled to the far southern tip of Chile and took a ship to Antarctica. The region shares similarities with Alaska. There are mountains and glaciers, ice and snow, humpback whales, orca whales, seals, sea lions, porpoises, and a wide variety of migratory birds, among other species similar to those in Alaska. So why travel to the bottom of the world to see an environment so much like the one I live in? Penguins. Despite the diversity of cold-adapted species living in Alaska, we have no penguins. Alaska has the finely tuned eating machines in our massive bears, and Antarctica has the funny, flightless, swimming birds wearing a tuxedo of feathers with dinosaur-like feet. It takes several days of flying to get to the bottom of the world, followed by tolerance of unpredictable sea conditions while sailing across the Drake Passage, but the penguins were worth the effort.

Unlike most of Alaska’s terrestrial wildlife, which are large, potentially dangerous, and decidedly uncomfortable with human beings, penguins are notoriously curious and have such limited exposure to people as to appear not particularly threatened by our presence. Penguins have no predators on land, though an occasional orca or leopard seal may try to grab them from a shoreline or floating sea ice. On land, penguins hang out with their mates, assemble in large colonies for mating, tend to precious eggs, feed their chicks, and molt their feathers. Human presence and our associated trappings are a source of curiosity for them, but mostly they seem to go about their routine penguin business, waddle-walking from place to place, making a variety of vocalizations, and gathering in small groups, seemingly to share the gossip of the day. They were endlessly fascinating to watch, and it was a blessing and a privilege to walk among them at various locations in Antarctica.  

Between the cacophony of sounds from the penguins and watching the chasing and play-fighting of southern fur seal pups on the same beaches, my mind finally let go of the weight of my responsibilities and challenges from the last few years. I focused on being in the moment, completely present with these marvelous creatures, and soaking in what appeared to my anthropomorphic human eyes, an idyllic, peaceful existence. At night, my body finally found truly restful sleep, and yes, I sometimes dreamt of penguins. Much like my experience with the Laysan albatross on Midway Atoll, the penguins left an indelible mark on my soul. They are God’s marvelous creations, and even in their masses, when you watch closely enough, you can see that each animal has an individual, precious personality, going about their essential activities of life, surviving to the best of their ability.

As human beings living in our often overwhelming, complex modern life, we might imagine that the lives of penguins are uncomplicated.  With their seemingly simplistic goals to eat, but not be eaten, find a mate, raise young, and have a place to rest, each of these goals is still fraught with challenges from sources of which they have little to no control. Life happens to them, and they press on.  There is no other choice but to die. To me, the animal world represents the ultimate in resilience.  We have all seen animals experience rejection and sadness, frustration, and even anger (anyone that has left their dog behind whilst going on vacation has likely seen these emotions).  We’ve witnessed animals struggle with injuries and illnesses. Yet somehow, they appear to do it with a grace and acceptance that we humans find difficult. Perhaps animals are more reconciled that this too is part of life. They are survivors until life ends.

This was my second trip to a truly remote location since my heart attack and other health challenges arose. Both Midway and Antarctica are so far from advanced medical care that if one were to experience a major illness or injury, evacuation, if even possible, could take days. And there is no certainty that one could reach life-salvaging care in time, if at all. Despite these risks, I’ve chosen to go to these places to have these unique experiences that I could not have any other way. I’ve chosen to take confidence from God’s care for my life, though some might argue I’m tempting fate. There are no guarantees, but I’ve chosen to live until I die.

I returned home, tired from our trip but also rejuvenated and rested in a way that I haven’t been for months. The usual long list of catch-up tasks awaited me, but I didn’t feel as overwhelmed by it. I am writing again. It is time for me to keep my promise to myself and others that I will share the rest of my story-at least the part that I have already lived through. More blog posts will be forthcoming soon. I hope you will enjoy them.